The Homework Mediators
by Baby Cougar
Summary: Cougar needs to do her homework. And apparently, she needs to be babysat to get it all done. Reality-Fantasy mix. Rated only for language. Shino will probably be the only character to appear in each chapter. Well, obviously Cougar will.
1. The American DreamKeeps me up at night

**You probably won't even understand the reasoning behind this. If you go to my story, NarutoRelated Chat, and then go to chapters 17-19, you will understand. Most of the reasoning is in 19, but the homework "arc" starts on 17.**

Shino looked at me and sighed; he knew I was bullshitting most of the essay. But he decided not to say anything as I plucked away at the keys, typing desperately in my sleep deprivation in order to get the blasted things done. He had long ago disposed of the supposed cookies he had made, opting for delivery pizza instead. Knowing that it was three in the morning, and I was only going on four hours of sleep from the night before, he decided not to distract me at all. He grabbed another slice of the now-cold pizza, and pondered if he should go to bed and leave me to my simplified doom at the laptop. It did not help that I get up at five to go to school, and that I had a whole different essay to do, another four pages, due at the same time as the one I was working on now. I, being the clever person that I am, pulled every trick I could think of to lengthen it, if even a little bit. Extra spaces after the periods and commas, as well as a space after the indent added a few lines from larger words getting pushed down the line. I tittered away, typing like a lullaby to the now sleep Shino. I watched as he sighed in defeat and went to bed. I watched him go with deep longing. Not for the boy, but for his destination; the wonderful, warm, soft bed that seemed to be calling out to me. I shook my head and turned the music louder through my headphones. I must finish. Even now, when I should be typing the essay about the American Dream, I am typing a glorious story of how I should be doing the essay. Ironic, Huh? I hear the door open and I look up, and Gaara walks in. I see where Shino had "disposed" the cookies to. Gaara didn't seem to mind the fact that they were awful. He took up Shino's post in the chair next to mine, wrapping his sand around me to make sure I stay in the chair and work, even though my mind is in the other room, where Shino lay sleeping in the nice, warm, fluffy, inviting, NO! Snap out of it, Cougar! I must finish this essay. Already I have written a whole page in five minutes where it took hours to get a whole page for this damned essay. I feel the sand's grip tighten around my leg, and I look up to see Gaara glaring at me. He knows I am not doing my essay at this point. Focus! I sigh; I will have to come back and type more. Already it is 3:31 AM, so I will stop here, but I will come back to write more when I finish at least one of theses essays, you know just to check in. Gaara growls, and I growl back. Gaara is an insomniac too, so he is able to stay up all night and make sure I am doing my work. Whoop-dee-fricken-doo. I ought to go…I will be back later. Cougar out.

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I am at a standstill. Three pages, and I need a full page more. Gaara's sea green eyes are boring into me, and I am glad I cannot hear the cookie munching for the headphones I have. Not much time has passed, it is only 3:38, and I will have no chance of escape with Mr. Sandman here. Ha. What an awful pun. Hopefully these diet Mountain Dews can "dew" their job and keep me coherent enough to write a decent paper. Better go….Gaara's looking…

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He's kind of creeping me out. I was singing to the Kelly Clarkson song that came on, and I saw his lips moving. I flipped one earphone off and hear him singing "Since U Been Gone" with me. Slightly unnerving. I hear a knock at the door, and I wonder who the hell that could be. Then I wonder how I even heard it. Maybe it was the barking of my dogs that alerted me…

"Gaara, could you get the door?"

He just gets up to answer the door. I get back to work, only after peering at the slow-moving clock once again.

3:44.

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Studs Terkel has to be the most amazing name ever. Sasuke's eyes, red with Sharingan, are copying my keystrokes, so I don't even have time to check the time…

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Who let Sasuke in, anyway? Oh yeah… Gaara… I hope he's over the "pretty pretty princess" thing, because Kiba is the owner of that title. I have pictures with proof. Uh oh….Where's Gaara? I feel a looming presence behind me---crap.

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"Crawling" by Linkin Park has come on now. I sing to it loudly; it makes me think of Shino and a fic that I had written about him. Gaara, after successfully scaring the shit out of me for not focusing, is having a staring contest with Sasuke, who are both ignoring my singing. Someone, however, was not. I scream loudly out of a startled fright as I am nailed in the back of a head by a throw pillow. I whip my head around in time to see the bedroom door close. Dammit Shino…

I sigh. Glancing at the clock, it only reads 3:55 AM. My night is almost over, and I still have to take a shower. I could always take one at school, but I will probably need the time to work. I could take one now, But I may get skinned alive by one of the boys here for not finishing my essay first. At least Studs had some good quotes for me to use.

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Woo! Started the fourth page. Sasuke looks at me funny, mildly curious at the outburst, chewing on the cold pizza left out from hours before. I don't mind, not like I was eating it anyway. I then got to thinking, why aren't there any girls here? Like Ten-Ten, or Hinata? Why are the boys all coming here? And The silent ones at that? They always say that it's the silent ones you have to watch out for….

--------------------------------------Oi. As if mocking my thoughts, another has arrived. Neji is sitting before me, relieving both Gaara and Sasuke. Gaara is in the kitchen, rattling _something_ around, and Sasuke is passed out on the table, drool pooling around his mouth. It's kinda gross. Why are these boys anywhere near my house at this time of the night? I pull my earphones off.

"Neji? Can you please take him to the couch?" I ask, indicating Sasuke. "It's kind of getting gross, with that drool and all…I can't focus."

His pale gaze fixes with mine, and a grimace fouls his expression. Why the hell didn't they send me Hinata?

"Fine. Up you go." He says, hoisting one arm over him, dragging the now only half-unconscious Uchiha to the couch. I look at his long brown hair, and wonder if would be fun to braid. I open my mouth to ask, but I thought better of it and snapped it shut again, and Neji wordlessly sat back down. Gaara came back from the kitchen, sporting drinks. For him and Neji, since Sasuke was asleep when he got up, and I had my diet Mountain Dew. Neji accepted the drink, and Gaara went into the living room. There must have been enough room on the couch leftover, because I heard the TV turn on. "Numa Numa" has now started to play. I grab the throw pillow off the floor that Shino chucked at me and put it in my lab, slightly curling around it to get my mind off of my surroundings and back at the problem at hand. I am gonna be in serious shit when my grandfather gets up and finds out I never went to bed, regardless of the fact that I was not -totally- wasting the time. Checking the clock again, I get back to work. 4:23.

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I'm creeped out. Those eyes….I'm almost done with one essay. I figure I can at least wash my hair and change my clothes so I'll be somewhat ready by the time my grampa comes to wake me up. I only even get up that early because I don't drive and I have to hitch a ride with him on his way to work. Just have to gracefully finish off this paragraph, then write a conclusion, then do the works cited, then viola! Instant finished paper. Then I have another, more difficult one, to do between then and 8.30. In four hours. This sucks. Out of all the boys they send me, and I need Shikamaru! He's who they should of sent! But no, I get the sentries from hell…If the Hyuuga doesn't stop staring at me I am going to seriously poke his eyes out…

4:34...

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Only half a page more…That Hyuuga is nodding off now…heh. Looks like Gaara's back on duty.

"Hey, Gaara. We've got another nodder. You know what to do."

I watch in amusement as he doesn't even move, his sand wrapping around the prodigy, taking him to the armchair and dumping him in it. He will probably be in there for another ten minutes; when the show ends.

It's 4:50 exactly.

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I hear the TV click off. Grampa's up. Gaara comes back, says hello, and gets to my backpack packing. My grandfather picks around the boys strewn about the living room to find a place to sit. That wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I save my essay, which is just shy of being done, and go into the bedroom for clothes, avoiding waking Shino. I shall return later, most likely in the car on the way to school. Cougar out...and it's…5:01. Good morning America.

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Ahh…I'm in the car now….and….Shino came along for the ride. He's sleeping in the back now, because he's the kinda guy who sets and rises with the sun, and he stayed up until three…ish….so yeah. He is gonna keep an eye on me when we get to school. I doubt I will finish my second essay, but I can damn well try. It is now 6:27 Am…Gaara, Neji, and Sasuke all went home. Well, I saw Gaara and Neji leave, I don't know if they came back for Sasuke. If not, he will be babysitting the dogs for my grandmother. Poor him.

I'm almost relieved, I finish today's work and I only have to worry about memorizing my concert piano piece and finish my printmaking stuff. How….fun… And then there's the jury I have to sing in front of for my voice class, that ought to be lovely. My stomach is getting butterflies just thinking about it. Or maybe it's because of my lack of sleep…?

I'm going to try and finish the American Dream essay before I get to the school. Talk to you then. 6:31.

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Didn't happen. But I am at school, sitting in the social lounge, with Shino dozing on the couch. 7:01 AM.

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Shino slept right through it. I finished my American Dream essay. 7:33 AM!!!!

But, I am not out of the woods yet. I have an hour, less actually if you count printing and getting there. I better get working, no way I am finishing but I can sure as hell get a good head start. On a paper that was due a month ago…

Shino seems to have woken up over there.

"Huh?" he asks stupidly.

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Ahh…class is over. It is 9:11 am…and…well….I'm tired. I got up at about 5 Monday morning, got a little less than four and a half hour's sleep that night, got up 5 Tuesday morning, and I've been up since. And I still got loads to do today. Aye carumba….Soy loca…

Shino is smirking at me. He doesn't feel the least bit bad for my complete lack of sleep. For the sage of recognition, he is going incognito right now. He had a black hoodie sweatshirt with red markings on, and the hood over his hair, faded blue jeans, and old tennis shoes. The trademark glasses stayed put. And, since he is in America, he asked me to call him "Shane" instead of "Shino." Weirdo.

"So, Cougar, did you finish both essays?" he asked me.

"As a matter of fact, _Shane_, no I didn't. But, I have somebody e-mailing me their essay. All I have to do is make a few corrections, and BOOM! Instant paper. Then I can email it to my professor, an then everything will be okay."

There's that skeptical look. "Are you serious? That's like, major cheating…."

"So!?" I snapped back at him. "It's not like I have enough time anymore to do it myself. But I do know how to change an essay so it looks different from the original. I'm in a rut on that one anyway, so the more help I get the better."

"Some help…" he muttered.

"Don't you have anything to do?"

"Yeah." he said. "Make sure you get your work done. Right. Now."

**And that's it for now. This is a cross between reality and fantasy. Just about everything I did was real, and all the other parts were fantasy. I am dog tired. I will update this retarded little ficlet-diary whenever I see fit. Review though, and tell me how screwed up my imagination is! …..maybe Music is right about me…**


	2. The other EssayA Day With Shika

**Since I started putting in times, I think I can continue doing this in this fic. Everything in this fic is true, minus the Naruto characters and any interactions with them. Or any other characters I might chose to put in. It is merely me trying to do my homework with my imagination running wild, but the times I put in are the actual times on the clock. For the humor of the characters interacting in this world, they each will get an American nickname to avoid recognition. But they all keep their ninja powers! Woo! Anyway…**

It's a brand new morning, and I have to do my third essay quickly before school lets out. I'm finished with English for the year, we don't have finals next week. But I do have to do the third essay. The guy I talked to actually remembered to email me his essay, so now I just have to go through the break-down-and-rewrite process. I'm in the car on the way to school now, and it's 6:26 AM. I left Shino at home, but they did send someone with me, Shikamaru. I really needed him yesterday, but I guess he can help me today. He's asleep in the back seat now, so I might as well get working. He will help me more when I get on campus in the social lounge.

On a different note, I slept soundly all night. Took my sleeping medicine (no joke I don't sleep with out them unless I'm exhausted, even sometimes not then) at about ten till seven, fell asleep at the kitchen table on my laptop (drooling like Sasuke) by 7:30, and was woken up to go to bed at about nine. After finishing whatever I unknowingly fell asleep on on the laptop, I stumbled over to the couch in the living room (attached to dining room where table is), booted the dogs off, and crashed by 9:30. But still, it took twenty minutes to get me up this morning. I guess I'm still not used to the whole get-up-at-five-in-the-morning thing. It's 6:35, I better start working, the sooner I finish, the better. And the sooner I can focus on my FanFiction, since next week is my last week before school lets out for the month long break (Dec. 6 is my last day!!!).

Be back soon!

Cougar out.

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I'm back! Essay is going well, Shika is helping me rearrange the words. I thought of a pretty cool name for him, Deerick. Pronounced Day-air-ick. Pony tail is modified; it's lower and less fruitlike, and he is wearing crisp blue jeans, black boots, a thick white t-shirt, and an olive green jacket. Perfect undercover. It's already 7:15 AM, so I got to get working.

"This is troublesome. Why didn't you do it when it was assigned? This paper was _due_ a month ago."

"Look. That paper was insanely difficult. But, I got help this time."

Shika looked at the essay I was copying from.

"You better hope that they look different enough to pass."

An evil grin grew on my face.

"Oh, it will."

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Shika dozed off on the table. That boy is the epitome of lethargy. It's still to dark out to watch the clouds outside, but it is also about 20 degrees out, so I hardly find the idea relaxing, anyway. 7:32. The essay is going quite well.

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Not done yet, but I have to leave for piano class early because I'm meeting my teacher. So Shika and I are packing up to go. It is cold outside…brrrrrr. 8:01.

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Busy busy busy busy. No time at all today. It's 5:29 PM. Shikamaru and I spent seven HOURS in the piano practice rooms, well, roughly. Got there at about 8:10, had piano class 8:50-9:50, then went into the practice rooms until 12:20, had voice at 12:30-1:30, then practice rooms again until 2:20. Maybe six hours…whatever, never was good at math anyway. I totally impressed Shikamaru with my music. I am writing a song, and I totally wrote the entire thing, both the score and the lyrics. My voice teacher told me that the song had potential. I will post it on You Tube when I finish. It's called "Have You Ever Wondered?" I made Shikamaru sing parts of it, since he was supposed to be making sure I was working, and technically, I was, but for my music classes. He has a beautiful tenor. It turns out he knows a piano song, too. I don't remember what he called it, but he was too lazy to get up and play it himself (he was sitting on the floor leaning against the wall) so he used his Shadow Possession Jutsu and used me to play it. It felt weird, I had absolutely no control over my body. That Shadow Possession thing is…weird. And handy for a lazy person, apparently. Wow. Time is moving slowly. 5:41.

"What a drag. Why did I have to come? This day lasted forever." he said.

"Oh can it. I know you're tired, and you can sleep when we get home. Shino can take over and help me with my essay from there. Nice voice today, I didn't know you could sing."

"Yeah, well, only Chouji and Ino have heard me, and even Ino knows to keep her mouth shut. Don't go spreading it around, I don't want _another _fan base, one that promotes "The Nara Can Sing" or something like that."

"Speaking of Ino, why aren't they sending any girls? I'd like to hang out with Hinata or Ten-Ten sometime, and I swear I will be out for blood if they send Neji again. And just who is sending you guys, anyway? The only boys that haven't been here are Naruto, Kiba, Lee, and Chouji."

Shikamaru seemed to ponder a moment, fiddling with his seatbelt. He is probably trying to think of a good reason, it's probably an S-ranked secret or something. He shifted in the seat. He glanced at me.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

I smirked. "I know that look. You know something, you weren't anticipating me asking, and you are thinking of an extremely plausible reason."

He scratched the back of his head.

"Actually, I have no idea. I was trying to figure that out myself. ANBU have been coming to us randomly, they just give us a slip of paper with your information and have us use the Body Flicker technique to come here. But I don't know why we are even doing this, although we are being paid, so it's somewhat like a mission."

I leaned back against my seat and let out a whistle. I punched Shika's arm playfully.

"ANBU worthy, eh? I'll bet any one of you ninja could take me down with one finger."

He laughed, and the rest of the car ride was silent, except for the low Christmas music playing and Shikamaru's light snoring. We were both in the backseat, since both of my grandparents came to pick me up. The only light is coming from the laptop screen, so I can't find my gum in my backpack. Suddenly, we took a turn, and a hard object collided with me. I yelped as Shika's unconscious head collided with mine, we did take that turn pretty hard, and Shika was asleep, so of course he fell over. I never did find that gum.

"Ow, what happened?" he asked, rubbing his head.

"When we took that turn, you fell over and we hit heads. I didn't see you because I was trying to find some damn gum in my backpack." I explained, rubbing my head.

"You kids alright back there?" My grampa asked.

"Fine." we responded.

Shikamaru leaned against the window to ensure he didn't fall over again as he went back to sleep. I slipped my headphones on and started the music on my laptop. It takes forever to get home, especially since we stopped at the store. Shika and I had stayed in the car, challenging each other to little bits of trivia. Needless to say, Shikamaru intellectually beat me to a metaphorically bloody pulp. But, I did beat him at a couple, like stuff nobody knows. He didn't know the plastic thing at the end of a shoelace is called an "aglet," and he didn't know the dot over the "i" is called a "tittle."

We stopped at Long John Silver's to eat, and Shika had no idea what was going on. Guess they don't have fast food fish in Konoha.

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Shika and I shared a large order of shrimp. We're back in the car on the way home. 6:57. Shika is dead asleep. I'm afraid I may have to drag him in, good thing he's so skinny. I'm sure more ninja will be there when I get there, So I'll drop him off with one of them. Ouch. Something poked me.

"You should work on that essay" Shikamaru said, bored eyes glowing in the LCD light.

"You're drooling. Go away and go back to sleep." I said, barely glancing at him.

He went back to his window position and back to sleep, new stream of sleep-drool already forming.

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We are almost home. Shikamaru is in a dead sleep. I shook his shoulder, and his head lolled on his shoulders. I swear the boy is comatose.

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I hoisted Shika over my shoulder and brought him in. Just to find…Kiba…playing with the dogs….this will be a long night….9:03.…Goodnight….


End file.
